What do Japanese people want to convey in words? What is the unique Japanese culture of “confession”?
I want to be closer to the person I love. This is what every human being thinks. In Japan, you become lovers only after you "confess" to the person you love and he accepts it.
There are many unfamiliar countries where you want to confess, but confession is a very important step for Japanese people when it comes to love.
This time, we will introduce the meaning and importance of confession, and how to confess to touch the other person's heart.
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★Learn about “confession” in the video!
Meaning of confession (kokuhaku)
In Japan, it is common to make a ``confession'' (kokuhaku) before becoming lovers with someone you like.
The literal translation of "confession" is "confess love," but isn't the act of confessing something that is not very familiar in overseas cultures?
However, in Japan, confession is a very important act in love.
Therefore, if the person you fall in love with is Japanese, you will need to ``confess'' in order for them to become lovers.
In Japan, "confession" in love has three meanings.
- convey one's feelings to the other person
- check the other person's feelings
- obtain approval to become lovers
Japanese confession culture
Many foreigners find the "confession culture" of confessing their love before becoming lovers to be a strange culture.
For foreigners who do not have a confession culture in their home country, why is it necessary to confess, how should I do it, and is this reply a success? Is it a failure? Isn't there a lot of things we don't understand?
Therefore, we will introduce how to confess, common phrases, and words of refusal.
How to confess
There are three ways to express your feelings to the other person: face-to-face, over the phone, by letter, by email or on LINE.
The best way to convey your feelings to someone is to tell them face-to-face.
Face-to-face confessions are recommended because the tense atmosphere and the feelings you have for the other person can be directly conveyed.
If you are nervous and cannot express your feelings well, we recommend expressing your feelings in a letter.
If you are sending a letter, instead of sending a handwritten letter through the mail, give it in person and say, ``That's how I feel.''
On the other hand, confessing via email or LINE is the most difficult way to convey your feelings to the other person.
Many Japanese people feel that it is impossible to confess via email or LINE, so it is best to avoid this method when confessing.
Increase the success rate of confession
Timing and atmosphere are very important to increase the success rate of confession.
timing of confession
Rather than confessing right after you meet, you'll have a better chance of success if you go on several dates, such as eating out, going out, or driving together, before confessing.
In addition, the success rate of confession is higher if you have fun communicating on LINE every day, if you can hear positive words from the other person such as "I enjoy being with you", if the other person introduces you to their friends, etc. Probably.
An atmosphere that makes the other person happy
Even if you suddenly confess something in your daily life, the other person will be in trouble.
When confessing, it's important to create an atmosphere in which the other person wonders, "Maybe he's confessing to me?"
For example, having dinner at a restaurant with a night view that you don't usually go to, having dinner at a restaurant with a private room where you can have a leisurely conversation, or driving to a beach with a beautiful sunset are examples of places where you can naturally create an atmosphere to confess your feelings.
In addition, on the way home from a date just the two of you, if the other person likes you as well, it's a perfect time to confess your feelings, as you'll feel sad to say goodbye.
Confessing your feelings can be very nerve-wracking, but it's important to tell the other person clearly and confidently.
Here are some common phrases to use when confessing your feelings.
"I like you. Please go out with me."
"I have loved you for so long."
"Please continue to be with me forever."
"Please be my girlfriend." "Please be my boyfriend."
These are standard confession phrases, but don't be limited by these words and use your own words to convey your feelings to the other person.
Words of refusal
Japanese people are not good at giving clear YES/NO answers.
Therefore, the reply you receive may be a refusal.
Here are some words of refusal that Japanese people tend to say.
"I would like to continue to work with you as friends (co-workers)."
“It’s a waste for me.”
"There's someone I like."
These words mean, "I can't date you."
However, if they say, "Please give me some time," there is a possibility that they will become lovers in the future.
You may find yourself wondering, "How long do you need time?", but it's important to wait until the other person has an answer.
What will happen if I don't confess?
If the person you like is Japanese, it is difficult to become lovers without confessing your feelings. Japanese people are not good at saying no, and they tend to be considerate and attuned to those around them.
Therefore, you may end up going out to eat, go for a drive, or go on a date with someone you don't like.
Even if you think you are lovers, it is not uncommon for the other person to think that you are friends.
Also, if you don't confess, you may make the other person worried, wondering if we're dating or if they're being played with.
In order to eliminate such misunderstandings and unnecessary anxiety, if the person you like is Japanese, make sure to confess your feelings properly.
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Confession has another meaning
Actually, confession has another meaning.
The word "confession" is also used when someone confesses something that they did something wrong or something that they should not have done and that has been kept secret.
For example, confession is also used when confessing something you feel guilty about, such as confessing your sins or confessing that you threw away a test.
Confession has the meaning of confessing not only love but also things that have been kept in one's heart.
This time, I explained about confession.
Some people may become lovers without confessing, but confession is a good opportunity to confirm each other's feelings.
When confessing your feelings, it is important to express it clearly to the other person in your own words.
Also, when someone confesses their feelings, the other person musters up the courage to tell the truth. Don't give random answers; instead, be sure to express your feelings.