What is the meaning of "confession" in Japanese culture in love? How to do it and phrases

update date 2024/03/22

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In love, it is a common feeling for many people to want to become even closer to the person they love. Especially in Japan, the culture of "confession" is the best way to take this step. This act is unique and not found in many countries, and is considered an essential and important step in starting a relationship, and has a deeper meaning than simply expressing a fondness.

In this article, we will discuss in detail its meaning and importance, as well as how to make an inspiring confession, when and where to make it more successful, and actual phrases and example sentences that you can use. Understanding the culture and customs regarding confession may help you take your love life one step further.

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What is the meaning of kokuhaku?

In Japan, it is common to make a "kokuhaku" (confession) before becoming lovers with someone you like. The literal translation of "confession" is "confess love," but the act of confession is not so familiar in foreign cultures, is it?

However, in Japan, confession is a very important act in love. If the person you like is Japanese, you must make this "confession" in order to begin a relationship with that person as a lover.

Confession" in Japan has three main meanings.

Communicate your feelings to the other person
Confirming the other party's feelings
Obtain approval to become lovers.

Meanings of the Japanese word "confession" other than love

In fact, confession has another meaning. The word "confession" is also used when you reveal to someone a mistake you have made or something you have kept secret.

The word "confess" is also used when one feels a burden in one's heart, for example, when honestly admitting one's mistakes or telling someone that one has lost something by mistake.

In other words, "confession" is a word that broadly describes not only romantic situations but also the act of sincerely communicating one's heart to another person.

Japanese confessional culture explained

The Japanese culture of confessing one's love to one another in order to become lovers may sometimes seem strange to people from other countries. In many countries, the act of confession is not always necessary for a relationship to progress, so it is not uncommon for people to be unsure of the meaning and method of this uniquely Japanese step, as well as the criteria for judging whether or not it has been successful.

In this section, we hope to deepen your understanding of Japanese love culture by introducing the common way of proceeding with confessions, commonly used phrases, and even refusals in Japan.

How to confess

There are several ways to convey your feelings to others: in person, over the phone, in a letter, or by sending an e-mail or LINE.

The best way to convey your feelings to the other person is to do so directly in person. Face-to-face is recommended for confessions because the tense atmosphere of the place and your feelings for the other person are directly conveyed.

On the other hand, if you are too nervous to express yourself well, one good way is to convey your feelings in a letter. The key here is to give them a handwritten letter in person, which will convey your sincerity.

However, through e-mails and LINEs, it is difficult to convey feelings and is not considered a preferred method in Japan. Many Japanese feel that "there is no way I would ever confess my feelings to someone via e-mail or LINE!" Therefore, it is recommended to choose face-to-face or more personal means whenever possible.

Timing, Atmosphere, and Location to Increase Success Rate of Confession

For a successful confession, proper timing and the choice of an atmosphere and place where the other person feels comfortable are very important.

Timing of Confession

Success rates are higher after both parties have been on several dates and have gotten to know each other better than when they have just met.

For example, if you exchange pleasant messages on a daily basis, if you hear positive words from the other person such as "I enjoy being with you," or if the other person introduces you to his or her friends, the success rate of confession will be high.

Atmosphere and place (situation) that the other party enjoys

If a confession is made suddenly in daily life, the other person will be troubled. Rather than a sudden confession, it is more effective to create a special atmosphere that makes the other party anticipate the confession.

Dinner at a restaurant with a romantic night view, dining in a private room where you can have your own private space, or driving along the coast with a beautiful sunset in the background are all places that naturally create the perfect situation for a confession of love.

Another good time to confess your feelings is on the way home from a date; the moment you both feel lonely after sharing some time alone together is a sign that the other person likes you. By confessing your feelings at such a time, you can easily convey your feelings and increase the likelihood of success.

Examples of common confession phrases and lines

The moment of confession is a nerve-wracking moment for everyone, but it is most important to be honest and clear with the other person about how you feel.

Here are some examples of common phrases for confessions.

I like you. Please go out with me."
I've always loved you."
I want to be by your side for years to come."
Will you be my girlfriend? Will you be my boyfriend?

These are standard phrases for confessions, but the important thing is to convey your sincere feelings to the other person in your own words, without being too bound by these words. Please be yourself so that the other person can sense your true feelings.

Examples of phrases and lines for refusal

Japanese people are not good at giving a clear yes or no answer. Therefore, a response to a confession may actually contain a refusal.

Here are some common refusals that Japanese people tend to say.

Sorry."
I want to continue our relationship as friends or colleagues."
It's too good for me."
Actually, I like someone else."

These words basically imply that it is difficult to move our relationship beyond romance.

However, if the response is, "Please give me more time," there is still a possibility that the relationship will progress. At such times, you may wonder, "How long do I have to wait?" and you may feel impatient, but it is important to wait until the other party gives you an answer.

What happens if I don't confess?

In Japan, it is generally difficult to develop a relationship with a lover without a "confession" that clearly conveys one's feelings. Because of the deep-rooted culture among Japanese people of avoiding outright refusal and valuing harmony, people sometimes act in a way that could be mistaken for a date even though they have no romantic feelings for each other. In fact, it is not uncommon for one party to think it is a romantic relationship while the other thinks it is only a friendship.

Also, if you don't confess, you will be asked, "Are we dating? Or are we just playing around?" If you do not confess your feelings, you may make the other person feel uneasy, such as "Are we dating? To avoid such misunderstandings and unnecessary worries, it is important to make a formal confession to clearly convey your feelings if the person you are interested in is Japanese.

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summary

Throughout this article, we have delved deeply into a uniquely Japanese step in love: confession.

Although not all people will advance to a relationship through confession, it is certainly an excellent opportunity to confirm each other's true intentions. The value of expressing your deepest feelings in your own words is immeasurable.

Also, when you receive a confession, it is vital that you respond with honesty and consideration for how much courage the other person has shown in dealing with you.

Expressing your affection in your own style, while taking into account the Japanese culture of confession, will pave the way to a fulfilling relationship.